Needless to say I suffer from endless pain on a daily basis, trying to manage those party crazy Brazilians, my slow paced laid back African amigos and then the too close for comfort Snake Oil Salesman and his posse. Everyone is delaying, complaining and waiting for the other one to slip up so that we can have a sacrifice! Knives all out waiting! It made me realize just how true the quote I found on the internet is: “Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.”
So I tried to think of a time in my life where I experienced efficient teamwork. It brought me to a wild weekend of river rafting!
My friend SeaBass told us about his buddies that have this company that takes you on a river rafting trip. What a great idea! River rafting! Nice slow river flow with a couple of beers floating behind you. I could hear the laughter in my head. So the usual gang decided to take him up on this truly amazing experience!
So we headed out with as much beer as we could carry in 3 cars. The captain and his wife went in his truck. Survivor, Pedro Perez, Dangerous Dave and I drove in my car and SeaBass and Action Man E in the Bass Mobile.
We arrived at the venue the Friday night, some more jolly than the others. We were expecting the party to really start. Instead, the fear started.
Our hosts whipped out cloves and Latex, and although it might sound like fun to some of you, it really isn’t what you think. Basically you have to wear the gloves to protect your hands from thorns the size of nine inch nails. Now I really didn’t think about it at the time, but later I asked myself how the hell do get thorns on a river? Then we were given wetsuits. Problem: being a bit larger that life, The Captain and I couldn’t find wetsuits that fit; at least not without looking like a sausage. So we had to go commando on the river and we were still waiting for spring to arrive, do you see where I’m going with this?
The next morning started with a “safety meeting”. Now remember I still had this little booze-cruise-floating-down-the-river picture in my head. Then it hit the fan.
“Rule number 1: No beer on the river” (this while a couple of us were already sipping a cold one). I could feel my joy draining from inside. Then I had to listen to this little fairy tail about if I get suck under a tree log I can hold my head in a certain position and the current will form this bubble that will have enough oxygen for 30 minutes. And I really do not need to panic, as they will safe me. I also discovered later that the medic we had, well, I think the closest he got to medicine was mouthwash!
From thereon the day was full of little surprises. There were no rafts. That would have been too easy; instead we had to face those bad babies on truck tubes! And apparently we were in luck, as they had rain and the river was really strong! In fact, when we got there it was one continuous white water rapid, mountain to ocean!
We also discovered that they did not have the means to transport all those already inflated tubes. So they got stacked on The Captain’s truck. And another little jewel: they didn’t have ropes so someone had to stand in the centre of this tube stack! Brilliant! When we reached cruising speed our little brave team member was starting to lift off in his tube tunnel! It looked like we were going to fly a blimp!
After quite an ordeal we managed to make our way down to the river. We had to navigate some really tricky territory through the bushes and trees, but we ended up close enough to hear the river – al we had to do was to carry our tubes to the river. I can assure you, it is quite a sight to see guys in wetsuits doing walking through the jungle with a truck tube on one shoulder and a white helmet on the head. Like police divers!
So we got to the first rapid, we made turns jumping on our tubes, bouncing off and going solo down the rapid trying to catch the tire. Not really a successful first attempt. After the first rapid The Captain and I started to compare our pink legs. Luckily we had some chocolates to fire up the metabolism! Another little known fact from our guides.
We managed to get to this little rapid that had a waterfall at the end. I guess it was about a 10 meter drop, but the problem wasn’t so much the height as the stack of rocks and broken trees reaching up towards the sky like spears. But we were in safe hands, as the fearless leader decided that they will put a rope over the river, just before the waterfall. This will be our safety catch. As you come rushing down the rapid, you grab onto this rope and to safe yourself from broken bones and impalement. And this is where I turned chicken, besides – I now had the chance to sit on the warm rocks to defrost my legs.
Fortunately the crew had too much difficulty in getting the rope across the river and they decided it might be too dangerous. So we moved on. Don’t get me wrong, it was great fun getting bruised by rocks. And it is fun coming down a rapid and not knowing how high the next drop would be.
It all came to an end when we went over a little waterfall, about 4 meters high that pulled me under. I decided that it was the end form me, 7 hours of freezing and a busted knee agreed. Survivor also managed to knock a gap in his leg, which was later repaired with an old stitching kit, whiskey and a dining table. And 2 days later by a doctor after the wound started to ooze yellow stuff.
And this is where the team pulled together. We hiked up a mountain, got to the top and discovered there was no pick-up. One of the guides hiked back to town to fetch the cars. After about 2 hours the trucks arrived, and that is where the team showed great commitment towards each other – we all jumped onto The Captain’s truck and drove off, leaving the tubes, the guides and the pain we endured behind.
What I’m really glad about though, is that we haven’t met the 9-inch thorns!
