Learning a new language

Life is all about learning. That’s what I’ve learned. And with age comes wisdom. Now I’m not saying that I’m Yoda, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve and my feet have seen its fair share of mileage. Oh, and on that a word of advice to all the newly weds out there: if you are on honeymoon in a foreign country and that mountain with the castle on top looks near, its NOT! Rent a car! (Free lesson)

In my quest to conquer the world I learned that communication is of paramount importance when conquering. To illustrate I will use an example. I was in Brazil for “The Company”. It was business as usual, except that the amount of English spoken in central Brazil can be overwhelming. In fact it brought tears to my eyes on numerous occasions. So armed with a little phrase book, I decided to order a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, onions and then some French fries. And according to my dictionary and the amount of confidence in my ability to pronounce, I was certain that I could do it. Well, I ended up with a piece of bread, with a piece of meat on it (nothing else, not even butter) and a delicious looking side plate of baked potato and fries with no tomato sauce or anything. It was the dullest thing I have ever seen.

So I have devised a universal method of communication. It happened in Brazil. And it was beautiful.

Our project was running along smoothly. We had state of the art pre-fabricated offices on the edge of the airport with no air conditioning or drinking water. We shared this office space with a couple of guys who were responsible for runway maintenance. And they spoke fluent Portuguese. On the Friday afternoon I took one of our amigos from the US back to the hotel. I had a beer with him and returned to the office a bit late. I left two of my men there, and figured they will be upset for staying late on a Friday afternoon.

When I got there it was a different story. The whole office managed to get cases and cases of booze. And everyone was jolly. So I decided that I need some of the action and I joined. And I swear, after a couple of cases of beer, we were communicating! We were laughing and dancing and signing. We made new friends; we spoke in three different languages and understood each other. We laughed at jokes that were told in Portuguese.

They even left my two co-workers of “The Company” and I to lock up their offices and to clean up their place. Not only did they understand us, they trusted us.

So in unlocking the secrets of the universe, never underestimate the power of BEER! It can teach you a new language in minutes. In fact, I’m convinced that ancient astronomers relied heavily on it to find the constellations. Try it, booze up and go find Orion! That’s your homework.