Why Santa Claus hates me

Pedro Perez reminded me today why the big red guy hates me. And not only me, but the whole gang. You see, even the simplest event becomes part of the greater scheme of things. And the universe can be a cruel place. So Santa hates me because of a simple innocent event.

As with all companies around the world, worker satisfaction is guaranteed by the dangling carrot. And sometimes it isn’t even a real carrot, but we all get caught up and just follow it blindly. One of the greatest mind-tricks ever devised by “My Company” was the so called “Birthday Party”. So being young, foolish and easily lured with the mention of free beer, I attended all of them.

The gathering took place at the usual spot. We had beers, meat on the roast and sports. Basically a day of fun and sunburn with some co-workers working on their raccoon tans. The gang was also there. We had the Captain, Survivor, Dangerous Dave, Sea-Bass and of course Pedro Perez.

Midway through our volleyball match nature interrupted with a couple of raindrops. As we had booze, we didn’t care. We just moved the festivities indoors. At some point we even had Batman and Superman playing air guitar and doing some karaoke. Lot’s of fun.

Eventually the rain stopped. Now having a party at a nature reserve might sound like a cool idea, but there is one little thing normally overlooked … animals. And this is when I saw the strangest/funniest thing I ever saw. Someone yelled: “WHOA! Look at the reindeer!”

At that point Rudolf came prancing past with what looked like a fashion statement. And there was extreme excitement amongst the crowd. Little Rudolf managed to hook our volleyball net in his horns. And by judging how it was tangled in his horns, it didn’t just happen. He had to make at least a couple of laps with his new horn accessories.

This is where he could have been more appreciative in our rescue effort, but no, he had to make us run. Luckily we were in top physical condition proving that you can indeed run with a beer in one hand without spilling it. The first couple of steps were easy, but the fuel can in one hand was not enough for our energy sapping tanks. So eventually we had a group of grown men walking after a reindeer.

After a while we somehow managed to free poor old Rudolf. No harm done, although we where exhausted.

But thinking back today, I have to say that I’m sure that this little event wasn’t overseen by his redness. So please Santa, NO MORE SOCKS!