Traveling the world makes you appreciate home and the things you know. I am not afraid. I have superpowers and I know how to use it. This makes me invulnerable, but I do have a one weakness: food makes me fat. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. And being a superhero is great as long as your costume doesn’t make you look like Barney the dinosaur.
I noticed this weakness the first time I went to the US. Dallas, Texas, to be more precise. Dinner was great. Did you know you can substitute your vegetables for fries? And in Texas it is all good as long as you wash it down with Diet Coke, the magic drink. I came back looking pregnant, but I was still hardcore.
I also had hot Mexican food in Cancun. It is like going to the gym, you feel the burn! Going down and going out! And I loved it. In Egypt I refused to eat for a week. I didn’t think that drinking water scooped out of the Nile is such a good idea. The dead fish floating nearby confirmed my suspicion. Besides, can you imagine the size of a Nile crocodile’s … never mind.
Last week I had chicken feet and something sticky in Angola. I thought this was a true measure of my willpower. But it is difficult to eat something if your teeth are clinched together. I managed to stuff half a plate of food between my lips, cheeks and teeth before my brain finally allowed my lower jaw to relax.
Which brings me to playing with your food. I told Pero de Neiro about my episode in Angola. Apparently this was nothing. Pero moved to Spain. His neighbor brought him a rabbit. Pero was happy, he had a new friend, Fluffy, and he could play all day. What he didn’t know is that you are not supposed to play with your food. Imagine the confusion if someone hands you food and you play with it. Needless to say – Fluffy turned out to be dinner.
Talk about flushing your friendship down the drain…
