The things you pick up along the way...

A couple of years ago, Pedro Perez and I were on a quest in Seattle. Now having seen snow for the first time in my life when I was 27, snowboarding sounded like a swell idea. Really, it did. Anth008 (don’t ask), who was more or less a local (he was actually from the US), knew exactly where to go.

All excited Pedro and myself was full of hope for the day, picturing images of smooth runs and even the odd jump or two. We set off early that Saturday, all geared out and looking AMAZING on the camcorders, Mr. Action and Mr. Serious Action! Being the pro’s we are, we spend the first part of the morning in the kiddies’ pen. No one told us that once you’re on the snowboard, you’re ON THE SNOWBOARD! Not like a skateboard where you can take you feet off at will.

After running around like plastic soldiers, occasionally running on our hands and keeping your butt in the air (looking stupid), we were ready for the memorable shots we planned. Since we are not stupid, we took to the kiddies’ slope. Three grown men, Pedro Perez, Anth008 and myself, sitting tightly together on the snow lift… along with only kiddies, ascending the MOUNTAIN!!!!

No one told us that the lift does not stop at the top. It just keeps going. Really, it does not stop. And then you have this HUGE board stuck to one leg. At first it seemed really difficult to run. Then common sense kicked in. Our legs just decided not to bother any further and just stopped. And don’t think the ski lifts stop if you have a heap of grown men lying where you should get off. NO, LETS PILE ON SOME KIDS!

Eventually we got up. Then instinct kicked in. I locked my loose leg into the snowboard and did what came so naturally. I pointed the snowboard to those little houses at the bottom of the mountain. At first it was cool. I thought: “This ain’t so hard!”.

I picked up speed. I was really starting to fly now. The wind was sweeping by. My face could feel the icy cold wind. Then I could feel my eyes sliding to the side of my head. I imagined myself looking like a frog: with a pinkish stretched out face. I could feel my cheeks flapping below my ears. Out of the cornet of my eye I saw Anth008 sitting on his knees, chuckling, enjoying my land-speed record attempt. I thought that no man had ever travelled this fast … on anything!

My legs decided to get off, but they forgot that they were tightly secured to this board of death. They went for it anyway. Luckily my torso took most of the impact. In an act of rebellion my legs shoved my face into the snow with the snowboard, using the back of my head as a pedal. For a moment I looked like a donut. Fortunately my open mouth helped in stopping me.

I lay there for a little as the feeling slowly returned in my body. I then realized that the sturdy, metal bodied camcorder in my chest pocket wasn’t so uber cool anymore. I should have gotten one that breaks easily if you fall on it.