The things you pick up along the way...

A couple of years ago, Pedro Perez and I were on a quest in Seattle. Now having seen snow for the first time in my life when I was 27, snowboarding sounded like a swell idea. Really, it did. Anth008 (don’t ask), who was more or less a local (he was actually from the US), knew exactly where to go.

All excited Pedro and myself was full of hope for the day, picturing images of smooth runs and even the odd jump or two. We set off early that Saturday, all geared out and looking AMAZING on the camcorders, Mr. Action and Mr. Serious Action! Being the pro’s we are, we spend the first part of the morning in the kiddies’ pen. No one told us that once you’re on the snowboard, you’re ON THE SNOWBOARD! Not like a skateboard where you can take you feet off at will.

After running around like plastic soldiers, occasionally running on our hands and keeping your butt in the air (looking stupid), we were ready for the memorable shots we planned. Since we are not stupid, we took to the kiddies’ slope. Three grown men, Pedro Perez, Anth008 and myself, sitting tightly together on the snow lift… along with only kiddies, ascending the MOUNTAIN!!!!

No one told us that the lift does not stop at the top. It just keeps going. Really, it does not stop. And then you have this HUGE board stuck to one leg. At first it seemed really difficult to run. Then common sense kicked in. Our legs just decided not to bother any further and just stopped. And don’t think the ski lifts stop if you have a heap of grown men lying where you should get off. NO, LETS PILE ON SOME KIDS!

Eventually we got up. Then instinct kicked in. I locked my loose leg into the snowboard and did what came so naturally. I pointed the snowboard to those little houses at the bottom of the mountain. At first it was cool. I thought: “This ain’t so hard!”.

I picked up speed. I was really starting to fly now. The wind was sweeping by. My face could feel the icy cold wind. Then I could feel my eyes sliding to the side of my head. I imagined myself looking like a frog: with a pinkish stretched out face. I could feel my cheeks flapping below my ears. Out of the cornet of my eye I saw Anth008 sitting on his knees, chuckling, enjoying my land-speed record attempt. I thought that no man had ever travelled this fast … on anything!

My legs decided to get off, but they forgot that they were tightly secured to this board of death. They went for it anyway. Luckily my torso took most of the impact. In an act of rebellion my legs shoved my face into the snow with the snowboard, using the back of my head as a pedal. For a moment I looked like a donut. Fortunately my open mouth helped in stopping me.

I lay there for a little as the feeling slowly returned in my body. I then realized that the sturdy, metal bodied camcorder in my chest pocket wasn’t so uber cool anymore. I should have gotten one that breaks easily if you fall on it.

Road rage third world style

This week I am back in Angola for more action. As the company's face to Angola I have been doing my best in trying to look busy without the usual base support from home. This is a boring job, but somebody has to do it.

So I have learned this week that motor companies are trying to trick the general public. It seems that to really go off-road you need what is called a "4x4". Now this type of vehicle tend to be more expensive, but they make you think that this is what you need to get around. Especially in Africa.

But in fact, from first-hand experience, I have learned that this is a really big sock that they are trying to pull over your head. What you do need is a minibus, something capable of carrying 15 people (in Africa that number is seen as minimum requirements).

In the back the vehicle it feels as if your lungs are being shoved into you butt while your stomach is moving into you head through your nasal passage. After a two hour trip you do have a slightly soar kidney section, but it is all worth it to experience the amazing off-road capabilities of this "Taxi". It does prevent you to stick out you tongue in traffic, because you might have to look for it later.

I also learned that roads are only an indication of direction. You don't need to be on it. In fact, 6 cars can simultaneously use the same road that will normally been seen as a double road. The advantage of this is that you really don't need any paint. Lines will be silly.

Now you might say I'm lying, so I have decided to show you this little gem of a pothole, 2 blocks from my fine we-don't-have-hot-water lodging. Enjoy.

When you play with your food…

Traveling the world makes you appreciate home and the things you know. I am not afraid. I have superpowers and I know how to use it. This makes me invulnerable, but I do have a one weakness: food makes me fat. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. And being a superhero is great as long as your costume doesn’t make you look like Barney the dinosaur.

I noticed this weakness the first time I went to the US. Dallas, Texas, to be more precise. Dinner was great. Did you know you can substitute your vegetables for fries? And in Texas it is all good as long as you wash it down with Diet Coke, the magic drink. I came back looking pregnant, but I was still hardcore.

I also had hot Mexican food in Cancun. It is like going to the gym, you feel the burn! Going down and going out! And I loved it. In Egypt I refused to eat for a week. I didn’t think that drinking water scooped out of the Nile is such a good idea. The dead fish floating nearby confirmed my suspicion. Besides, can you imagine the size of a Nile crocodile’s … never mind.

Last week I had chicken feet and something sticky in Angola. I thought this was a true measure of my willpower. But it is difficult to eat something if your teeth are clinched together. I managed to stuff half a plate of food between my lips, cheeks and teeth before my brain finally allowed my lower jaw to relax.

Which brings me to playing with your food. I told Pero de Neiro about my episode in Angola. Apparently this was nothing. Pero moved to Spain. His neighbor brought him a rabbit. Pero was happy, he had a new friend, Fluffy, and he could play all day. What he didn’t know is that you are not supposed to play with your food. Imagine the confusion if someone hands you food and you play with it. Needless to say – Fluffy turned out to be dinner.

Talk about flushing your friendship down the drain…